Making Room For The Good Stuff

Baggage.  We’ve all got it.  Some of us drag it behind us for everyone to see; busted wheels, broken zipper, and all.  Some of us tuck it neatly away, trying to pretend it’s not taking up space in our hearts or weighing us down.  But it’s there, and at the least opportune moment the bag breaks open and we can’t escape the hurt that’s been hiding inside.  We know we need to unpack it, but knowing and doing are two completely different things.

So this is me, trying to unpack what I didn’t even realize I was toting around.  At one point in time, I was cheated on.  It seems so stupid to say it out loud, but I was cheated on by a man with a woman he met through an online game.  Like I said, stupid.  I have since forgiven him, and to this day we are even friends.  But here’s the rub, once I’m in anything far enough that there’s a chance I could get hurt, I have a hard time trusting.  Anyone.  My brain overthinks everything and the next thing I know I’m out here hurting my own feelings with made up scenarios and what ifs.  The thing is - I want to trust someone.  I want to fully and completely trust someone with all that I am, and this is why I try to be upfront, honest, and transparent - because that’s all I want in return.  So that’s it.  I’m gonna leave it on the sidewalk.  Someone else can have it because I need to make room for things that really matter.

I'm offended that you're offended...sort of...

First of all, let’s be honest, I’ve had many laughs at others’ expense.  I’m a laugh first, ask if you’re okay later kind of girl, and people watching is definitely one of my favorite pastimes.  That being said, this rant is more about the double standard everyone seems to ignore these days rather than just admitting that we’re all horrible people in need of forgiveness.

Exhibit A - Bullying

Again, I’m not condoning bullying, however, how can we get on our soapboxes preaching about how bullying and making fun of each other is wrong, but then turn around and make fun of all the convicts’ mugshots on social media?  Isn’t that bullying?  I think some of the comments are hilarious, but then we’ve already established I’m a terrible person who needs grace.  But I mean, how does it change just because the person may be a stranger to you?

Exhibit B - Ruining everything about my childhood

This one really bothers me.  If you don’t like how previous generations grew up and were raised, fine, but can you just leave it at that?  Quit watching my favorite old movies and turning them into your new cause of political correctness.  Sure some of the storylines are suspect, but if you really look deep into movies today, nothing is new – it’s all just a new spin on an old movie (one that you probably condemned on your Facebook page at some point.)  Besides, I watched all those movies and I think I turned out pretty okay.

Exhibit C.1 - Stop sabotaging Christmas and all its joy and wonder

Rudolph condones bullying, Baby It’s Cold Outside promotes rape culture, blah blah blah.  I don’t think Rudolph ever taught kids bullying was okay (at least that’s not what I remember – all I remember is that Hermie wanted to be a dentist.)  I don’t think I ever watched that movie and decided to go and make fun of someone.  It taught you that we’re all different in some way and our differences are uniquely special.  And Baby It’s Cold Outside – stop acting like women don’t have a choice.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – choices have consequences, good or bad, and we all need to start owning them.  The song is about a guy who wants her to stay, practically begs, and she finally gives in.  She made a choice.  She chooses to give in and stay.  That’s it.  Nowhere in that song does it say he locked her in the house, took her keys and wouldn’t give them back, and held her down and did things to her that she didn’t want. 

Exhibit C.2 - The great CHRISTmas debate

If we’re so worried about keeping Christ in Christmas, then why don’t we act more like Christ rather than worry about buying unnecessary stuff to show others how much we love them and arguing about what holiday phrase others choose to use to wish you happiness at the end of December?  Getting upset about a label is just silly.  As believers in Christ we are called to spread the good news and make disciples, to seek out the least and the lost and show them God’s love.  We aren’t asked to take up our swords against everyone who likes to say Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas.  In the end, and I mean the very end, the bible says (in those red Jesus words): “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’  The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” (Matt 25:34-40) 

So maybe, just maybe, we should all just take a step back, take a deep breath, and just love each other this holiday season.  Right where we’re at, differing opinions and all. 

***After Thought***  When I started typing this, it was a rant.  All my opinions about other people’s opinions on things currently being talked about on social media.  Then I got to the end, and realized I was on my own soapbox and doing exactly the same thing I was complaining about others doing.  So I guess what it all boils down to is we all have our own opinions, and we’re allowed to have them, but maybe instead of trying to force everyone to agree that our own opinion is correct and the only one that matters, we can celebrate our diversity and learn from each other’s opinions.  These are just my observations.  We can disagree and still be friends...just don’t ask me to change the station when Baby It’s Cold Outside comes on – I’m turning that shit up and singing along, and you’re singing with me

How Did We Get Here?

The internet is a magical and wonderful place.  A place where you can lose hours at a time without even trying.  With all its ways to stay connected, information at the tips of your fingers, and the ability to shop without even leaving your couch; it just shows how great the internet really is!  But has the internet made us cynical?  More specifically, has social media condemned us to constantly judge one another for choices we make regarding our own lives?  Recently there has been an outpouring of internet love for the people of Paris and what they’ve experienced, and with that love comes the backlash from others who don’t see the need for such an act.  Have we become such a pessimistic society that the hope and compassion that some choose to show via their own personal social media pages deserve to be argued and disputed against?  It’s a profile picture, a hashtag, or a status update – do any of these things affect you personally?  No.  They are just an outward sign (on the biggest stage possible for an individual) to show comradery and empathy.  If you don’t think these things are necessary, then just don’t participate.  It’s that simple.  There’s no need to tell everyone how dumb changing their profile picture to one with an overlay of the French flag is, or that #peaceforparis and #prayforparis are just patting ourselves on the back to make ourselves feel good.  Maybe people are feeling a bit helpless right now, that #prayforparis seems to be the only way we have to contribute right now.  Maybe, just maybe, people who use #prayforparis are actually praying for Paris.  I did.  I didn’t use the hashtag, but I haven’t bashed anyone for using it either.  You want to know why?  Because I saw their hashtag and thought to myself, “yes, that’s a good idea.  I will pray for Paris.”  Since when has not having the same opinion as someone else given us the right to judge people, and even farther to disparage them in a public forum – usually their own page where, correct me if I’m wrong, they’re supposed to be able to post their own opinions?  Freedom of speech goes both ways, not just yours. And this extends way beyond Paris.  Paris is just the most current example.  You can load any opinions on religion, politics, and even raising children in this boat.  We’ve become very “keyboard bold” in this day and age – when we can spout off our opinions from a keyboard without having to actually say the same thing to someone face to face.  You could even say this very blog post would qualify, but personally, if you asked me I’d tell you the same thing.  The difference here, I haven’t chosen to comment on one person’s status update or article share to tell them how wrong they are; I’m just questioning why so many feel the need to do so. So let’s judge less and love more.  Let’s be more empathetic and less critical.  Let’s pray more and worry less.  Now if you’ve stuck around and haven’t thought I was crazy yet, I want to push you just a little farther…will you pray for Paris with me? God, I thank you for another day.  Another day to live for You and be an example of Your love.  God I ask that You be with all those in Paris grieving the loss of either a friend or family member or even the loss of their sense of freedom.  God protect those in Paris from the fear the terrorists are trying to instill.  Protect us here the same.  The enemy wants us to be afraid, but if we trust in You, the great Creator who set everything into motion, we know You have a plan and we don’t need to be afraid.  We are all your children, God, and we trust that you want nothing to harm us.  Give all your children strength to carry on and heal those hurting, and let those who need to feel Your love be wrapped in a feeling of peace that only You can give.  In Your son’s name, Jesus Christ, we ask these things.  Amen.  

Going Bald for Boobies

You forget a lot in five years.

Approximately five years ago I shaved my head in support of a friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer all too early in her life. I kept it that way until hers showed signs of growing back. A few years ago her cancer had come back, but this time the doctors believed they could treat it with a weaker chemo that didn’t make her hair fall out. A few weeks ago they finally decided this was not the case and switched her back to Taxol. Last weekend she texted me saying her hair was starting to resemble a comb over and we should probably shave it soon. The next day she and I and two of her co-workers were all sans hair. Mine was the longest, measuring about 13 inches give or take, and will be donated. It’s kind of freeing, but at the same time it’s very humbling. I had forgotten how people stare and judge you. I stopped at Meijer that night and I made eye contact with a man around the same age as me and he immediately looked away and started shaking his head. That single act in itself is enough to make a person insecure, but I keep confidence in the fact that I know why I did this and that I had a choice to do this and how much harder it is for someone who doesn’t get that choice. It’s kind of sad the stigma that we have placed on a woman being bald. That there must be something mentally wrong with her, rather than it’s just a haircut. Now there are 6 of us total (going on 7 soon) that have shaved our heads to show our support for my friend and it makes me smile. I smile thinking that maybe the baldies will take the city by storm. I smile and laugh a little as I remember the evil grin my friend had shaving my hair off my head. I smile knowing she has so much love and support around her and she won’t go through this alone.

We Will Never Forget

It's hard to believe that seven years ago today the Twin Towers went down. I was driving to work when I first heard about it. When I got to work, we sat and watched a 10" b&w tv in disbelief. It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around the whole situation. To think that someone would hate our country so much that they would kill so many innocent people is just insane. I'm thankful to be part of this country; to have the freedom to praise God and speak my mind and make my own decisions. And I'm thankful for those who are fighting and have fought to keep that freedom. God bless America!

"Feelgood" People

We all have them. Shoooot, we all need them. You know the people I'm talking about--the people who make you feel good about yourself. You may even call them friends. The people who pump you up, and somehow know just when you need pumping up the most. I like surrounding myself with these kind of people. Selfish? Maybe. But if I can return the favor to them or even someone else it all seems to even out. I want to be your "feelgood" person, may I?

I want to be an expert.

Goal in life #857.2

Become such an expert in one area that I get featured in an informational film for my opinion on the subject.