Baggage. We’ve all
got it. Some of us drag it behind us for
everyone to see; busted wheels, broken zipper, and all. Some of us tuck it neatly away, trying to
pretend it’s not taking up space in our hearts or weighing us down. But it’s there, and at the least opportune
moment the bag breaks open and we can’t escape the hurt that’s been hiding
inside. We know we need to unpack it,
but knowing and doing are two completely different things.
So this is me, trying to unpack what I didn’t even realize I
was toting around. At one point in time,
I was cheated on. It seems so stupid to
say it out loud, but I was cheated on by a man with a woman he met through an
online game. Like I said, stupid. I have since forgiven him, and to this day we
are even friends. But here’s the rub, once
I’m in anything far enough that there’s a chance I could get hurt, I have a
hard time trusting. Anyone. My brain overthinks everything and the next
thing I know I’m out here hurting my own feelings with made up scenarios and
what ifs. The thing is - I want to trust
someone. I want to fully and completely
trust someone with all that I am, and this is why I try to be upfront, honest,
and transparent - because that’s all I want in return. So that’s it.
I’m gonna leave it on the sidewalk.
Someone else can have it because I need to make room for things that
really matter.
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